Today's fluff is blowing in the wind
The Mill often awakes in a fog of confusion, hastily putting its trousers on back-to-front, buttoning up its shirt all the way to the top only to realise that the buttons weren't aligned and having to do it all over again. Then pouring orange juice on its Sugar Puffs and accidentally pressing the emergency button in the lift and getting trapped for an hour, before finally arriving in work all a fluster as the security man's barely-concealed sniggers alert it to the fact that it is still wearing its Rudolf the Reindeer slippers from Christmas 2005 which, funnily enough, is a time when the above headline may actually have seemed relevant.
But anyway, this is today's gossip and you will hear it. The Juventus playmaker/winemaker/Chuck Norris-alike and all-round lovable old man, *Andrea Pirlo*, may be Manchester United-bound in January because he's got his manager, Antonio Conte, in a right old funk after heading straight to the dressing-room after being substituted during the 2-1 win against Hellas Verona at the weekend. "When a player leaves the pitch, unless it is for medical treatment, they should watch for the end of the game with their team-mates … no explanation is needed for the simple fact that Andrea could do it."
Sure, it would be like Manchester United signing Yoda when Shinji Kagawa was already the Luke Skywalker among their ranks, but ho-hum, Pirlo would still be more lively than Marouane Fellaini was last Sunday. And he would instantly become Greater Manchester's best cardigan-wearer. They face competition from Real Madrid because, of course, Carlo Ancelotti is their manager and he's Italian and got the best out of Pirlo back in 1932 or something. And Spurs, Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea may have a little sniff around too if the midfielder isn't offered a contract extension anytime soon.
José Mourinho, meanwhile, doesn't like the cut of full-back *César Azpilicueta*'s jib, and will show him the door in January. The door that leads to Athletic Bilbao that is. One man's jib that is cut to Mourinho's liking, though, is that of *Eliaquim Mangala*, probably because the Porto defender is 6ft 2in tall and can defend corners.
Hey Sunderland fans! *Alex McLeish* wants to eff your club up worse than it is already. "I am out of a job at the moment and it is a club that would certainly fascinate me in terms of going in there and trying to inject some confidence into those players," said the man who confidently took Birmingham into the Championship and almost succeeded in doing likewise to Aston Villa the very next season. But Sunderland want a "tracksuit manager" which has alerted shellsuit and cap combo-wearing's *Tony Pulis*. Hoof! Although *Gus Poyet* is still the favourite and has held "talks". Yes "talks".
Elsewhere, Arsenal hope to inject a bit of energy into their defence by snaffling Red Bull Salzburg's 21-year-old left-back and central defender *Martin Hinteregger*, who would cost very little but could run a lot faster than Per Mertesacker.
La Liga's new possession kings, Rayo Vallecano, are going to successfully persuade the free-agent striker *Ciprian Marica* to spurn the opportunity to regularly trim his fingernails on the Spurs bench and instead play up front for them every week in the football hipsters' next favourite team.
Manchester United's *Rafael* is going to packaged up and posted back to Brazil, where Corinthians are his most likely destination. Which is better than being sent on loan to QPR like his brother was.
Oh, and *Chris Hughton*'s P45 is in a sealed envelope just waiting to be sent his way should Norwich not beat Stoke on Sunday. That's your lot.
Gregg Bakowskitheguardian.com © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds Reported by guardian.co.uk 4 hours ago.
The Mill often awakes in a fog of confusion, hastily putting its trousers on back-to-front, buttoning up its shirt all the way to the top only to realise that the buttons weren't aligned and having to do it all over again. Then pouring orange juice on its Sugar Puffs and accidentally pressing the emergency button in the lift and getting trapped for an hour, before finally arriving in work all a fluster as the security man's barely-concealed sniggers alert it to the fact that it is still wearing its Rudolf the Reindeer slippers from Christmas 2005 which, funnily enough, is a time when the above headline may actually have seemed relevant.
But anyway, this is today's gossip and you will hear it. The Juventus playmaker/winemaker/Chuck Norris-alike and all-round lovable old man, *Andrea Pirlo*, may be Manchester United-bound in January because he's got his manager, Antonio Conte, in a right old funk after heading straight to the dressing-room after being substituted during the 2-1 win against Hellas Verona at the weekend. "When a player leaves the pitch, unless it is for medical treatment, they should watch for the end of the game with their team-mates … no explanation is needed for the simple fact that Andrea could do it."
Sure, it would be like Manchester United signing Yoda when Shinji Kagawa was already the Luke Skywalker among their ranks, but ho-hum, Pirlo would still be more lively than Marouane Fellaini was last Sunday. And he would instantly become Greater Manchester's best cardigan-wearer. They face competition from Real Madrid because, of course, Carlo Ancelotti is their manager and he's Italian and got the best out of Pirlo back in 1932 or something. And Spurs, Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea may have a little sniff around too if the midfielder isn't offered a contract extension anytime soon.
José Mourinho, meanwhile, doesn't like the cut of full-back *César Azpilicueta*'s jib, and will show him the door in January. The door that leads to Athletic Bilbao that is. One man's jib that is cut to Mourinho's liking, though, is that of *Eliaquim Mangala*, probably because the Porto defender is 6ft 2in tall and can defend corners.
Hey Sunderland fans! *Alex McLeish* wants to eff your club up worse than it is already. "I am out of a job at the moment and it is a club that would certainly fascinate me in terms of going in there and trying to inject some confidence into those players," said the man who confidently took Birmingham into the Championship and almost succeeded in doing likewise to Aston Villa the very next season. But Sunderland want a "tracksuit manager" which has alerted shellsuit and cap combo-wearing's *Tony Pulis*. Hoof! Although *Gus Poyet* is still the favourite and has held "talks". Yes "talks".
Elsewhere, Arsenal hope to inject a bit of energy into their defence by snaffling Red Bull Salzburg's 21-year-old left-back and central defender *Martin Hinteregger*, who would cost very little but could run a lot faster than Per Mertesacker.
La Liga's new possession kings, Rayo Vallecano, are going to successfully persuade the free-agent striker *Ciprian Marica* to spurn the opportunity to regularly trim his fingernails on the Spurs bench and instead play up front for them every week in the football hipsters' next favourite team.
Manchester United's *Rafael* is going to packaged up and posted back to Brazil, where Corinthians are his most likely destination. Which is better than being sent on loan to QPR like his brother was.
Oh, and *Chris Hughton*'s P45 is in a sealed envelope just waiting to be sent his way should Norwich not beat Stoke on Sunday. That's your lot.
Gregg Bakowskitheguardian.com © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds Reported by guardian.co.uk 4 hours ago.