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Rugby world cup anthem composed by Croydon trio

November 16, 2013, 1:19 am
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Rugby world cup anthem composed by Croydon trio This is Croydon --

FOR a sport as northern as Yorkshire pudding, you may be surprised to hear the Rugby League World Cup soundtrack is by a trio of Croydon musicians.

Steve Boyce, Eric Olley and Simon Tindle recorded We Will Be Kings for charity, but have since seen their song picked up as the tournament's official song.

The anthem is being played on a number of radio stations up north, as well as in the stadiums before games.

Steve, 55, recorded the track as a collaboration with Eric Olley, 54, and Simon Tindle, 44, in his home studio in Whyteleafe.

The trio, who met in a pub about five years ago, are hoping the exposure they receive will propel them into the commercial music industry.

Steve, who admits he is not a huge rugby fan, said: "The song is not necessarily like all my music but this job came in and we thought we should write something anthemic that would be good to chant along to.

"We've had lots of messages of support for the track and it's all for charity, so we're hopeful it will do quite well."

The Rugby League World Cup is taking place at huge stadiums, including the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wembley and Old Trafford.

Professional musician, Steve, who plays regular gigs around Croydon at venues like The Earl of Eldon, in Brighton Road, has yet to play the track live.

But there is a possibility the group will be asked to play the song, which is available on iTunes, before the final at the Old Trafford on November 30.

Steve added: "That would obviously be fantastic but the logistics of it would be mad.

"If we're asked then it would be hard to turn down. Some members of the England squad have already said they love it, so I think we've got their support."

In 2008, Steve won a competition to open for Eric Clapton in front of 40,000 people in Hyde Park.

"That was a fascinating experience but once you start playing it doesn't really matter if there's thousands of people in front of you," he said.

The trio are unnamed but originally wanted to call themselves Fizzy Guinness.

And although they are enjoying the success of their track, they now believe their future is in producing music for television and films.

Eric, a huge Chelsea fan who lives in West Croydon, said: "We really like collaborating with each other and we have sent stuff to different agencies.

"There are thousands of people trying to do it but you never know what might crop up and if you get something successful there can be a lot of royalties in it. We can't really be bothered to go on a proper tour because we're getting a bit older.

"But we love just getting in a room and seeing what comes out of it."

Royalties made from We Will Be Kings will go to the tournament's Wooden Spoon children's charity. Reported by This is 1 day ago.
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Expedia promised a full airline ticket refund – but never delivered

November 16, 2013, 11:17 pm
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Expedia simply says 'The airline doesn't want to pay' even though we had insurance against cancellation

*In June I booked a £230 return airline ticket via Expedia for my mother from Stockholm to London. I took out cancellation insurance and did, indeed, have to cancel due to my mother's medical condition. I sent Expedia a medical certificate and was promised a full refund but have only been sent £56 because, Expedia says, "the airline doesn't want to pay". *LVF, London

Your contract is with the airline, not the booking agent, but whether the airline wants to pay or not, the insurance company owes you, assuming that your mother's illness complies with its terms and conditions. Expedia blames "agent error", a culpability it seemed curiously unable to admit until the press office got involved. It has now refunded the full sum plus the cost of your many phone calls and a magnificent £25 to soothe your feelings.

*If you need help email Anna Tims at **your.problems@observer.co.uk** or write to Your Problems, The Observer, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Include an address and phone number. * Reported by guardian.co.uk 3 hours ago.
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Google's misleading 'driver's licence' link lost me £80

November 16, 2013, 11:17 pm
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Renewing a passport or driving licence can entail hefty fees when your Google search leads to a paid-for link

*My partner did a Google search for "replacement drivers licence" and clicked the top link. He paid £80 and ordered his licence. *

*The following morning I received a confirmation email and discovered that, instead of the DVLA, he had used a website called drivinglicence.uk.com. This company offers to check the paperwork prior to sending the application off – at a cost of £80. It is blatantly set up to mislead people into thinking they have bought one thing only to deliver something completely different – and at vastly inflated cost. It preys on those who are vulnerable, less computer savvy, or who don't check all the terms and conditions. *AC, Fareham, Hampshire

*I fell for one of the third-party websites charging fees for "passport renewal" when, in fact, it was a form printing service. I Googled "renew child passport" and found a link directly to the UK Passport Online Application Service's child passport renewal page. I was charged £40, which I presumed was the passport fee. However, when I went to the company's homepage there were warnings dissociating it from the official passport site. These were not on the page I had been directed to by Google. So I was charged £40 to have my information printed on a form and posted to me. *RB, Sheffield

These websites, and others like them, appear to set out to mislead people into thinking they are official since no-one in their right mind would pay £40 to have a passport application checked when the Post Office will do it for £8.75. However, provided that the websites make it clear that they are not affiliated with the government and what services you are paying for, they are not illegal. drivinglicence.uk.com does do this on its homepage, but it's evidently relying on the fact that hurried customers, fooled by the words "driving licence application" at the top of the page, will click straight on the two prominent "apply now" buttons without reading the blurb.

UK Passport Online Application Service is more worrying. Although the first paragraph on its homepage points out that it is not affiliated with the Home Office, there is, as you say, no mention of this on the renewal page.

When I contact both companies, only Jamie Wyatt of Caveat Viator which runs drivinglicence.uk.com (the name, appropriately enough, is Latin for "traveller beware") replies, but he goes to ground when I ask how he justifies the £80 fee. UK Passports Online never gets back to me. Both charge £1.53 a minute for calls and in July the premium-rate regulator PhonePayPlus imposed new rules, forcing such companies to be more transparent about who they are and the services they offer. Hence the disclaimers.

"The tough new conditions will help protect the 82% of people who look for phone numbers online by stamping out sharp practice," says Paul Whiteing, chief executive at PhonepayPlus. Except they continue to be as sharp as ever because so many of us fail to read the small – or even large – print before rushing in. Not only can that cost us, but it means unscrupulous firms possess vital personal data. So, traveller beware indeed. Don't ever enter payment details until you can be sure who you are dealing with and don't commit to a website just because it comes first in the Google results.

*If you need help email Anna Tims at **your.problems@observer.co.uk** or write to Your Problems, The Observer, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Include an address and phone number. * Reported by guardian.co.uk 3 hours ago.
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Woodland spirit for super-stylish interiors

November 17, 2013, 12:49 am
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Woodland spirit for super-stylish interiors This is Bath -- A little woodland spirit is essential for super-stylish autumn interiors. Gabrielle Fagan gathers some forest-inspired finds to make you feel at home with the great outdoors. If you go down to the woods today you're sure of an interiors surprise! Nature is inspiring decor, and a veritable menagerie of creatures, from stags to foxes, is 'running wild' in on-trend rooms. "It's the decorative equivalent of a cosy night in with a steaming mug of hot chocolate," says Amanda Fox, creative director for The Handpicked Collection, of the theme. "Woodland motifs bring the wild side in. In the summer, it's a great look because it blurs the boundaries between the home and garden. In autumn and winter you might not always feel like gambolling in the freezing cold, but some tactile and beautiful pieces made of wood, or evoking woodland, help you feel part of the natural world. "And let's not forget that woodlands are secretive places where magic happens. A little bit of mystery in the home is no bad thing!" The trend shows no sign of slowing, she adds, pointing out that evoking the natural world in our homes helps us feel less mass-produced, and more at one with nature. "This is such an easy-to-live-with look which can be interpreted in classic manor house style, or by taking a more modern, chic approach which just hints at the great outdoors," notes interior designer Joanna Wood. "To achieve a stylish woodland feel in your home, use rural colours and natural motifs. Try neutral shades such as heather, tan and chestnut or bolder tones like berry red, lake blue, lichen green or lavender violet. "If you're hoping to achieve a more modern touch, mix in mustard yellow and cooking-apple green as accent colours." You've truly been living in the wilderness if you haven't noticed that those kings of the forest – stags – are a must-have accessory, either as a faux mounted head, or emblazoned on cushions and throws. Smaller furry creatures – foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs – are just as fashionable, but if you want to create a truly traditional countryside look, include pheasants, partridges and owls too. Nature's come a-knocking – it's time to open your door to all creatures great and small and create your own woodland hideaway... :: Woodland sources Alexander & Pearl:0208 508 0411/ www.alexanderandpearl.co.uk Asda: www.direct.asda.com BoConcept: www.boconcept.com Cuckooland: 01305 755 621/www.cuckooland.com Dulux: 08444 817 817/www.dulux.co.uk Dunelm: 0845 656 565/www.dunelm.com Graduate Collection: 0845 872 4919/www.graduatecollection.co.uk Joanna Wood: 020 7730 5064/www.joannawood.co.uk John Lewis: 0845 6049 049/www.johnlewis.com Little Greene: 0845 880 5855/www.littlegreene.com Magpie: 020 7095 9399/www.magpieline.com Marks & Spencer: 0845 302 1234/www.marksandspencer.com Next: 0844 844 8000/www.next.co.uk Voyage Maison: 0141 641 1700/www.voyagemaison.co.uk Reported by This is 2 hours ago.
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Crib guide: in search of the first Christmas-card nativity

December 16, 2013, 12:15 am
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We stick them in the post without a thought – but who painted the first Nativity?

Great art comes tumbling through your letterbox at this time of year. Here are the kings from the east laden with gifts, gathering at a stable where an ox and an ass look lovingly at a baby child. Mary sits demurely. Shepherds hearken to an angel. You pop it on the mantelpiece with all the other cards.

Paintings of the nativity, in many styles and by some of the greatest artists ever, aren't just Christmas-card gold – they're frankincense and myrrh, too. The likes of Botticelli and Dürer have turned their imaginations to the scene and its theme, either concentrating just on Mary, Joseph and Jesus in rapt stillness, or gathering crowds of wise kings and servants and camels to create a great human panorama like Leonardo da Vinci's Adoration of the Magi. Christmas would not be Christmas without a couple of these masterpieces half-hidden among the tinsel.

Recently, I started wondering: when was the first Noel in art? Botticelli's Mystic Nativity, a popular choice for Christmas cards that hangs in London's National Gallery, was painted half a millennium ago. But what is the world's oldest nativity scene? Where can you find the grandfather of all Christmas cards?

The first clue is at one of the world's most revered churches: Santa Maria Maggiore, squatting in the middle of a massive crossroads in Rome. In its souvenir shop, the grinning face of Pope Francis is on every mug and calendar. But step inside its long straight hall and you travel back in time: this is a building that dates from the 5th century AD. Some of its art is more than 1,500 years old. High up in the half-light are mosaics of the infancy of Jesus. Is there a nativity up there? I can't see one – but wait, aren't those the Magi, the three Persian astronomer-kings who followed a star to Bethlehem to see the newborn son of God? In this mosaic, bizarrely, they're tarted up in jewels and pointy hats. As for baby Jesus, he greets them sitting on a throne.

When we think of the nativity in art, it is not this. We picture a warm, intimate, human moment. In The Nativity at Night, painted by Geertgen tot Sint Jans in about 1490, a light shining in the darkness illuminates the gentle face of Mary as she contemplates her wondrous child. Is the humble drama we see in this little painting an invention of the Renaissance era when it was created? It seems a long leap from the primitive Magi and godlike Christchild of Santa Maria Maggiore to the delicate humanity of Geertgen tot Sint Jans.

So the simplest answer to my question is disappointing: aspects of the nativity have been depicted ever since there were Christians. But where's the cuteness in these ancient images? Where's that atmosphere of carols being sung in the snow? Stille nacht, heilige nacht ...

A wondrous work of art from dark-ages Germany provides my next crucial clue. The Lorsch Gospels date from the court of Charlemagne at Aachen in about 810AD. The carved ivory cover of this book, now in the V&A, is a masterpiece. It includes a nativity scene that is exactly what I'm looking for. A deeply anthropomorphic, sensitive ox and ass watch over Christ in the stable while Mary rests and an angel calls the shepherds from their flocks. It's a lovely telling of the Christmas story and – although it's by no means the grandfather of all Christmas cards – it leads me east.

The age of Charlemagne saw Europe's first "renaissance", with barbarian warlords trying to imitate the lost grandeur of Rome. They deliberately copied earlier art, and this nativity is based on a similar one found on a bishop's ivory throne in Ravenna, Italy. And that throne was made in the 6th century AD in Byzantium, the eastern half of the Roman empire that lived on after the empire fell.

So it was in Byzantium that sensitive, warm, human images of the nativity first appeared. Like the Magi following that star, this beautiful artistic tradition came from the east and was gratefully received by Europeans who have loved these winter pictures ever since. What a gift. Reported by guardian.co.uk 3 days ago.
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Gainsborough man Alan Forrest jailed for attacking 101-year-old woman in her own home

December 16, 2013, 1:53 am
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Gainsborough man Alan Forrest jailed for attacking 101-year-old woman in her own home This is Lincolnshire -- A Gainsborough man has been jailed for eight-and-a-half years after attacking a 101-year-old woman in her own home. Alan Forrest, 53, of Kings Street, Gainsborough, tricked his way into the pensioner's home in Lea Road on October 11 asking for a glass of water. He then threw the water at the woman, pushed her to the floor and demanded cash. The victim used a personal alarm to call for help and Forrest ran off. Forrest was sentenced at Lincoln Crown Court last week. DC Tina Kennedy said: "This was a cowardly attack on a particularly vulnerable member of our community. "We hope this sentence sends out a very powerful message to offenders and demonstrates out commitment to tackling serious violence in Gainsborough." Reported by This is 3 days ago.
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Patrick Kavanagh's Advent: unifying the miraculous with the banal

December 16, 2013, 4:21 am
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The Irish author's awkwardly beautiful Christmas poem plays with shape and rhyme in unexpected ways

At first you could almost imagine that the speaker in this week's poem, Advent by Patrick Kavanagh, is Adam, addressing Eve some while after the Fall. Calling the addressee "lover", after all, implies a close and carnal relationship. But the "too much" that the speaker and lover have "tested and tasted" is more inclusive than sexuality. The intellect is implicated in the word tested, although the tongue-tickling alliteration might seem to privilege sensation. In a poem whose deepest concern is with poetic integrity, the Muse herself may be identified with the "lover".

The "chink too wide" reinforces the idea that "wonder" is lost, both through bodily indulgence and excessive self-consciousness. The advent fast takes place in darkness – "the Advent-darkened room"– and external light would interfere with the sense-deprivation necessary to the act of penance. The paradoxical "luxury" that the penance will "charm back" resembles the birth in poverty of the infant Jesus – the restoration of "a child's soul".

Underlying the emotional charge of the poem is Kavanagh's sense of his native village in Inniskeen as an eden he sacrificed for the corrupt metropolis, Dublin. His outcry is not, I think, against knowledge, but city-slick, poetically useless knowingness. If such knowledge belongs originally to "Doom", as the speaker says, it must be perceived as truly terrible, and perhaps represent the worst that could happen to this poet: the loss of local roots leading to the decay of imagination.

Although the poem is nostalgic, its metaphysics reach wider than nostalgia. The Wordsworthian myth that a child arrives with inborn "intimations of immortality", later lost in the process of maturation, permeates Advent. Two vivid examples of childhood epiphany are contrasted in the second stanza. The word "wonder" reappears, heightened by the intensifier "spirit-shocking". That black Ulster hill is iconic for Kavanagh, and brings biblical associations in other poems. For example, in A Christmas Childhood, he looks up at "Cassidy's hanging hill" and imagines three whin bushes, or gorse, as the three wise kings riding across the horizon. Here, the "spirit-shocking" hill seems almost the metaphorical expression of the "prophetic astonishment in the tedious talking …" The half-rhyme (spirit-shocking/talking) unifies the miraculous with the banal.

Kavanagh's adult mind is arguing with itself, wanting to believe in the resonant words, but acknowledging the speaker as "an old fool". Christ-like, the poet both redeems and judges. His "Advent" is not simply the joyous arrival of the redemptive child: it also foreshadows the second coming.

The restored sense of place is what will urge "you and me" to go outside, not to look upwards, but to see the ordinary things with fresh eyes. The impetus is similar to that of the speaker in Thomas Hardy's "The Oxen". In fact, Kavanagh's "old fool". with his words of "prophetic astonishment", seems not unrelated to the elder who says of the cattle: "Now they are all on their knees." But there are no kneeling oxen in Kavanagh's rural vision, simply "the whins/ And the bog-holes, cart-tracks, old stables where Time begins". Notice these are "old stables", not the singular stable of the nativity narrative. "Time begins" in an ordinary stable, provided the spectator looks on the scene with rejuvenated consciousness.

The inclusive rush of that line signals an exultant mood in the last stanza. The future tense is assertive: Christmas will compel a new start. It will bring childhood unforgettably alive again, and allow ancient processes to recommence. In those first four lines, Kavanagh's rhymes are thick and muddy, tactile and insistent. Poetry itself is set alight by "an old phrase burning" through the ordinary human domestic voices heard "in the whispered argument of a churning…" Again, Kavanagh presents his ideal world of farm and village realistically. Those "lurching", unruly local boys are no less valued than the busy women churning butter and the "decent men" who "barrow dung"– a terrific use of an unexpected verb – to nourish their gardens. "The difference" between false and real is grounded in honest, and above all, unselfconscious physical activity.

Language "pours ordinary plenty" in that last stanza, though it's not always so ordinary. "Dreeping", in "dreeping hedges", might be a coined word, fusing together the words "dripping" and "deep"; it also contains the Scots "dree", to endure, adding further density and rootedness to the hedges. "Clay", in "clay-minted wages", is an echo of the despairing opening words of Kavanagh's The Great Hunger: "Clay is the word and clay is the flesh." So "the clay-minted wages/ Of pleasure, knowledge and the conscious hour" connect with failures of imagination and linguistic energy.

The shape of the poem is interesting: two stanzas of seven lines, and one of 14, joining up two sets of seven. This structure suggests the four weeks of the advent period, and the poem could be read as two rough-hewn sonnets. The rhyming is irregular, and some lines have no end rhyme. Kavanagh is more engaged with the weight and sound of words than with cadenced finesse. Although he uses "clay-minted" as a negative phrase, it might be an apt description of this awkwardly beautiful poem. The final couplet's epiphany, extending the birth-miracle into the new year, discovers Christ in an early flower, itself a product of the winter-darkened clay.

*Advent
*

We have tested and tasted too much, lover –
Through a chink too wide there comes in no wonder.
But here in the Advent-darkened room
Where the dry black bread and the sugarless tea
Of penance will charm back the luxury
Of a child's soul, we'll return to Doom
The knowledge we stole but could not use.

And the newness that was in every stale thing
When we looked at it as children: the spirit-shocking
Wonder in a black slanting Ulster hill
Or the prophetic astonishment in the tedious talking
Of an old fool will awake for us and bring
You and me to the yard gate to watch the whins
And the bog-holes, cart-tracks, old stables where Time begins.

O after Christmas we'll have no need to go searching
For the difference that sets an old phrase burning –
We'll hear it in the whispered argument of a churning
Or in the streets where the village boys are lurching.
And we'll hear it among decent men too
Who barrow dung in gardens under trees,
Wherever life pours ordinary plenty.
Won't we be rich, my love and I, and please
God we shall not ask for reason's payment,
The why of heart-breaking strangeness in dreeping hedges
Nor analyse God's breath in common statement.
We have thrown into the dust-bin the clay-minted wages
Of pleasure, knowledge and the conscious hour –
And Christ comes with a January flower.

• Advent by Patrick Kavanagh is included in Collected Poems, edited by Antoinette Quinn (Allen Lane, 2004). It is reprinted by permission of the trustees of the estate of the late Katherine B Kavanagh, through Jonathan Williams Literary Agency. Reported by guardian.co.uk 3 days ago.
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Looking for Jesus at Christmas: Try a garden shed in the Yorkshire Dales (where he's attended by Brian Cox and given a chocolate orange)

December 16, 2013, 5:41 am
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This is Hull and East Riding -- If Jesus was born at Christmas 2013, it would be in a garden shed in the Yorkshire Dales, attended by Professor Brian Cox and Sir Trevor Macdonald, according to voters in a survey by the Bible Society. Swindon would be the most unlikely place to see the second coming, the poll suggests. Nearly one-third of people asked thought Jesus would be born in the Yorkshire Dales. London was the second most popular location (23 per cent). Swindon received only two per cent of the vote. However, as the Bible Society points out, Bethlehem was also considered an unlikely place to see a royal birth. When asked about what kind of place Jesus would be born in today, one third said a garden shed. Seventeen per cent said he would most likely be born in a Premier Inn or Travel Lodge. The traditional nativity would also look very different. The three kings would include Professor Brian Cox and Sir Trevor Macdonald, who were chosen ahead of Chancellor George Osborne, reality TV star Joey Essex and the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby. When asked what they would give Jesus as a present, the most popular choice was a chocolate orange, followed by socks. The least popular option was a Furby Boom – ironically predicted to be the number one top toy this Christmas. Reported by This is 3 days ago.
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Locals in Gran Canaria complain annual Three Kings Parade cannot go ahead

December 16, 2013, 6:15 am
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Locals in Gran Canaria complain annual Three Kings Parade cannot go ahead The British director has left locals in Telde, Gran Canaria, fuming after he rented all the camels from a zoo for his latest film. Reported by MailOnline 3 days ago.
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Kent School Kids Evacuated From Swimming Pool Amid Disabled Man Panic

December 16, 2013, 6:47 am
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Kent School Kids Evacuated From Swimming Pool Amid Disabled Man Panic Panic at Aylesford, Kent's Larkfield Leisure Centre. Teachers from Kings Hill Primary, near West Malling, fear there is pervert in the hanging rooms. By pervert they mean 'man'... Reported by Anorak 3 days ago.
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Playboy and fashion: let's call time on this not-so-chic alliance

December 16, 2013, 7:03 am
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Alessandra Ambrosio says she would do a Playboy shoot as long as it wasn't vulgar. How could it be anything else while women are still told that looking hot is all that counts?

*Can a Playboy shoot ever really be fashionable?*
Alex, by email

You would think so, Alex, considering the number of women who model for that sad, deflated erection of a publication and tell themselves just that. In a recent interview, model Alessandra Ambrosio – a woman I'd previously only encountered in the Mail Online's sidebar of shame – announced that she would do Playboy as long as it wasn't "vulgar": "I'd make sure it was artistic," Ambrosio mused, posing the question of what this overused-to-the-point-of-cliche word actually means in this context.

One doesn't need to be Andrea Dworkin to find not just the existence of Playboy laughably pathetic, but the still bafflingly tenacious myth that Playboy is somehow chic – even stylish – a veritable hernia-inducing laugh. Just as Playboy has somehow revamped its image to be seen as ever so debonair, so Dworkin's own image was ruthlessly mauled by detractors in her own lifetime and has been so ever since.

Dworkin was fascinating, and anyone who says otherwise should be handed a copy of Our Blood forthwith. But then, Dworkin emphatically didn't believe that women should be pleasing to men, or that women's emancipation should in some way be rendered unthreatening to men (she would not, shall we say, have much time for the recent suggestion that feminism should be "rebranded."). She has therefore been largely damned by the ridiculous modern-day mentality that militancy should be written out of feminism when, actually, militancy was, and arguably still is, very much needed in feminism and is nothing women should feel the need to apologise for.

The fact that they do feel that need proves how much feminism is still needed. Dworkin was scary – a scary woman – and is therefore banished, while Playboy's bunnies, with their betailed rumps and oiled cleavages, thrive.

Which brings us back to Playboy. Doubtless Ambrosio's interest has been piqued by Kate Moss, who has done precisely the thing that none of her fans ever thought she would: she became a cliche. Following in the footsteps of many other models who suddenly felt the need to prove that they're still sexy, Moss modelled for Playboy. That this got any media attention at all is a testament to the power of Hugh Hefner's indefatigable PR machine, seeing as most of us have seen Moss's breasts more often than we've seen our own.

In fact, she can currently be seen in an advert for some kind of orange tanning cream in which she is wearing less than she is in the laughably naff Playboy shoot. Yet Moss even giving that tedious windbag Hefner the time of day says at least as much about the power of PR as it does about the relationship between Playboy and fashion.

Even though Hefner has made what looks like a deeply concerted effort to show how unbelievably boring he is through Twitter and occasional interviews, there still exists a sheen of celebrity and even, God help us, history around the Playboy franchise, as evidenced by the yawnworthy A-list parties held at the Playboy mansion and the depressingly gargantuan sales of awful Playboy accessories. God forbid your smartphone shouldn't look nubile, right?

The sales of these products – as often as not to women – prove what Dworkin always said about pornography: that it dehumanises women. And few mainstream pornography brands do that as blatantly as Playboy. It's one thing to reduce women to masturbation objects (and I have no problem with masturbation. After all, it's everyone's favourite hobby, to paraphrase Woody Allen.) But to suggest that women have to look like rabbits even to merit that honour is quite something.

In 1988, the last Playboy club shut because it was no longer profitable. But proving that progress is not always forwards, the clubs started to reopen about two decades later and British Vogue, in fact, recently held a party at the London branch.

It is well past time to call bullshit on this alliance between fashion and Playboy. If women want to make their careers out of glamour modelling, good luck to them, but to suggest that Playboy itself is somehow chic, that to ally oneself with that dud Viagra pill of a magazine is excitingly racy and that women who have achieved enormous success and fame in their fields are proving their self-worth and sexiness by posing for it is just demented.

Fashion, as this column often chinstrokes, should be – and is, in its purest form – about giving people pleasure and self-expression. But too often, the women's fashion industry seems hellbent on reducing women to tired stereotypes, miserable clones and sexless sex objects. (Incidentally, Ambrosio models for Victoria's Secret, a firm that has made kazillions by doing precisely those three things.)

Many people dismiss models as dumb and suggest that's why they model for Playboy, but that's lazy and unfair. The truth is, they're at the extreme end of a general truth that women are still told that the only validation that counts is being told you're hot, and Playboy bestows that validation. Few things make me miss Dworkin more than the sight of a wealthy and successful women sticking a bunny tail on her backside and smiling for the camera.

Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email ask.hadley@theguardian.com Reported by guardian.co.uk 3 days ago.
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Gay and Love star as Kings and Timberwolves take key victories

December 16, 2013, 6:53 am
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• Rudy Gay scores 26 in first home game for Sacramento
• Hunter Felt: in NBA, West is best and East is least

Rudy Gay scored 26 points in his first home game since coming over in a trade from Toronto to lead the *Sacramento Kings* past the *Houston Rockets* 106-91 on Sunday.

Gay added five rebounds and four assists. He finished 10-for-20 shooting in a dazzling home debut for the Kings, who had lost eight of their past 10 games. DeMarcus Cousins had 21 points and 10 rebounds, and Isaiah Thomas added 19 points and eight assists to help Sacramento hold on to the lead for most of the final three quarters.

James Harden twisted his left ankle early in the third quarter but finished with 25 points, and Dwight Howard had 13 points and 10 rebounds while battling foul trouble in a disappointing end to Houston's cramped three-game road trip. The Rockets lost at Portland on Thursday and won at Golden State on Friday.

At Memphis, Tennessee, Kevin Love had 30 points and nine rebounds as the *Minnesota Timberwolves* hit a season-high 12 3-pointers in beating the *Memphis Grizzlies* 101-93. The victory ended Minnesota's 11-game losing streak to the Grizzlies and also gave the Timberwolves their third win in the last four.

Damian Lillard hit a spinning fadeaway shot with one-tenth of a second left in overtime to lift the *Portland Trail Blazers* over the *Detroit Pistons* 111-109. Lillard was guarded well by Rodney Stuckey as he tried to drive to the basket, but he was able to hit a tough fadeaway from about eight feet. Detroit couldn't get off a shot before the buzzer. LaMarcus Aldridge scored 27 points for Portland and Lillard finished with 23 points.

The *Phoenix Suns* beat the *Golden State Warriors* 106-102 for their fifth straight game after Eric Bledsoe scored seven of his 24 points in the fourth quarter. Bledsoe added eight rebounds and eight assists, Goran Dragic scored 21 points, and Channing Frye added 20 for the Suns. Stephen Curry scored 30 points, including 20 in the second half, and Klay Thompson added 19 for the Warriors.

In other games, the *Oklahoma City Thunder* downed the *Orlando Magic* 101-98 and the *Denver Nuggets* defeated the *New Orleans Pelicans* 102-93. Reported by guardian.co.uk 3 days ago.
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Nine men convicted over fight between Crystal Palace and Brighton fans

December 16, 2013, 11:14 am
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Nine men convicted over fight between Crystal Palace and Brighton fans This is Croydon -- NINE football hooligans have been convicted of violent disorder following a mass brawl between Crystal Palace fans and Brighton fans. James Hackett, 21, of Norbury Avenue in Thornton Heath; Robert Carl, 45, of Woodcote Road in Wallington; and Hayden Johnson, 20, of Jesmond Road in Addiscombe are among the men to have been convicted over the "terrifying" fight near Kings Cross train station on November 10 last year. Carl and Hackett both pleaded guilty while Johnson was found guilty after a trial at Blackfriars Crown Court that ended on Friday. Jurors had heard how punches, glasses and sandwich boards were thrown as the brawl escalated in Caledonian Road. Police had anticipated there might be trouble but dozens of officers were incorrectly sent to Victoria –leaving just two to deal with the violence on the other side of central London. The groups had arranged to meet up and fight after their respective teams had been playing in other parts of the country. The Crystal Palace fans arrived at King's Cross after their team had played Peterborough United, and the Brighton group arrived at nearby Euston following a match against Wolverhampton Wanderers. Jenny Hopkins, CPS London Deputy Chief Crown Prosecutor, said in a statement on Friday: "This was a terrifying situation for members of the public who witnessed the violence." She added: "These men used the historic rivalry between their football clubs as an excuse for large-scale violence and disorder with no regard to members of the public nearby who were shocked and frightened by their behaviour. "CPS London is committed to working with its criminal justice partners to tackle football hooliganism both inside and outside the stadium." Carl and Hackett are due to be sentenced on January 13. Johnson is due to be sentenced on January 21, alongside three others found guilty at trial: Dean Kirby, 29, from West Park Road in Newchapel; Declan Clarke, 22, from Miles Road in Epsom; and Adam Marshall, 23, from Aston Way in Epsom. Three other men were convicted in October and November. Reported by This is 3 days ago.
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Relocating new Bishop of Bath and Wells is sad sign of the times

December 16, 2013, 11:07 am
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Relocating new Bishop of Bath and Wells is sad sign of the times This is Somerset --

RE: "Plans to relocate bishop to new residence near the city", December 5 edition.

Deja vu.

Who are these "Board of Governors" to abrogate the "home" of bishops of Bath and Wells since circa 1210?

The Church of England in my lifetime, increasingly these past 20 years, is witnessing the demise of the church "militant".

Having been baptised, confirmed and been a sometime chorister, I mourn the passing of the clergy of my youth, with exceptions; in my sojourn here in Wells the late prebendary Kenneth Davies comes to mind.

We're all aware of the indecent haste to be rid of St Cuthbert's Vicarage, wherein the solemnisation of marriages and Christian burials was nurtured within the ambience of the parish church, the former the "heart" of the church "militant".

The episcopacy apostolic, the cathedral the seat of the bishop, the Bishop's Palace in its contemporary residential accommodation, the context for any successor bishop.

(Suitable and well regularly hosted by a former Archbishop of Canterbury).

I realise increasingly in a secular society further advocacy for future monarchs with contemporary courtiers to dispense with Buckingham Palace, presumably to accommodation in The Old Kent Road.

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,

This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,

This other Eden, demi-paradise,

This fortress built by Nature for herself

Against infection and the hand of war,

This happy breed of men, this little world,

This precious stone set in the silver sea,

Which serves it in the office of a wall

Or as a moat defensive to a house,

Against the envy of less happier lands,

This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

(William Shakespeare)

Graham Livings

Upper Milton

Wells Reported by This is 3 days ago.
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Manchester City set for Champions League blockbuster against Euro kings Barcelona

December 16, 2013, 5:13 pm
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Manchester City set for Champions League blockbuster against Euro kings Barcelona MANCHESTER CITY have spent years dreaming of mixing it with Europe’s best – and now their chance has come. Reported by Daily Star 3 days ago.
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What should be on the Oscar shortlist for best song?

December 17, 2013, 3:13 am
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The longlist for the Best Song category in the Oscars has been announced – so what should make the cut?

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced the longlist of songs for its Best Original Song Oscar in 2014, ahead of the nominations for the shortlist on January 14.

The list features 75 songs written for movies over the last year, with artists including Taylor Swift, Beyonce, U2, Coldplay, Kings Of Leon, Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and M83 all making the grade. Pharrell is included for his hit Happy, currently in the top 5 of the UK charts, which appears in Despicable Me 2, and other animated films make up a large proportion of those selected: Epic, Turbo, The Croods, Planes, Escape From Planet Earth and Monsters University all also get a mention.

The Great Gatsby, with its bold and incongruous soundtrack of modern musicians, gets five mentions for songs by Jay Z, the xx, Florence and the Machine, Fergie, and Lana Del Rey. Also with five mentions is Kamasutra 3D, which you can now legitimately say you were watching "for the songs". British twee-pop artist Emmy the Great gets four mentions for her work in the musical Austenland, while Paul McCartney's collaboration with the surviving members of Nirvana in Sound City gets a nod.

Conspicuous by its absence though is the music written for Inside Llewyn Davis, the Coen brothers' film about the folk scene in 1960s New York. Its song Please Mr Kennedy, co-written by Justin Timberlake who co-stars in the film, was nominated for a Golden Globe last week.

The full list of songs is below – so which five should end up on the shortlist?

*Films A-F*

Amen by Alexander Ebert, from All Is Lost
Alone Yet Not Alone by Joni Eareckson Tadaby, from Alone Yet Not Alone
Doby by Will Ferrell (as Ron Burgundy), from Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
Last Mile Home by Kings of Leon from August: Osage County
Austenland by Emmy the Great, from Austenland
Comic Books by Emmy the Great, from Austenland
L.O.V.E.D.A.R.C.Y by Emmy the Great, from Austenland
What Up by Emmy the Great, from Austenland
He Loves Me Still by Angela Bassett and Jennifer Hudson, from Black Nativity
Hush Child (Get You Through This Silent Night) by Jennifer Hudson et al, from Black Nativity
Test of Faith by Jennifer Hudson, from Black Nativity
Forgiveness by Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks and Ben Harper, from Brave Miss World
Lullaby Song by Karl Lentini from Cleaver's Destiny
Shine Your Way by Owl City and Yuna, from The Croods
Happy by Pharrell, from Despicable Me 2
Gonna Be Alright by Steven Tyler, from Epic
Rise Up by Beyonce, from Epic
What Matters Most by Delta Rae, from Escape From Planet Earth
Bones by Joanne Perica, from For No Good Reason
Going Nowhere by Lucinda Bell, from For No Good Reason
Gonzo from For No Good Reason
The Courage to Believe by Q'orianka Kilcher from Free China: The Courage to Believe
Let It Go by Idina Menzel, from Frozen

*Films G-M *

100$ Bill by Jay Z, from The Great Gatsby
A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got) by Fergie, Q-Tip and Goonrock, from The Great Gatsby
Over the Love by Florence and the Machine, from The Great Gatsby
Together by the xx, from The Great Gatsby
Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey, from The Great Gatsby
The Moon Song by Karen O, from Her
I See Fire by Ed Sheeran, from The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Bite of Our Lives by the cast from How Sweet It Is
Try by the cast from How Sweet It Is
Atlas by Coldplay from The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Better You, Better Me by Alicia Keys, from The Inevitable Defeat of Mister & Pete
Bring It On by Nathan Wang, from Jewtopia
Aygiri Nadani by Sreejith Edavana and Saachin Raj Chelory, from Kamasutra 3D
Har Har Mahadeva by Sreejith Edavana and Saachin Raj Chelory, from Kamasutra 3D
I Felt by Sreejith Edavana and Saachin Raj Chelory, from Kamasutra 3D
Of the Soil by Sreejith Edavana and Saachin Raj Chelory, from Kamasutra 3D
Sawariya by Sreejith Edavana and Saachin Raj Chelory, from Kamasutra 3D
In the Middle of the Night by Fantasia, from Lee Daniels' The Butler
You And I Ain't Nothin' No More by Gladys Knight, from Lee Daniels' The Butler
Let's Take a Trip by Jackson Rathbone, from Live at the Foxes Den
Pour Me Another Dream by Jackson Rathbone, from Live at the Foxes Den
The Time of My Life by Jackson Rathbone, from Live at the Foxes Den
Ordinary Love by U2, from Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Monsters University by Randy Newman, from Monsters University
When the Darkness Comes by Colbie Caillat, from The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
Sacrifice (I Am Here) by Chris Irwin Band, from Murph: The Protector
The Muslims Are Coming by Negin Farsad and Tory Dahlhoff, from The Muslims Are Coming!

*Films O-Z*

Oblivion by M83, from Oblivion
Sweeter Than Fiction by Taylor Swift, from One Chance
Nothing Can Stop Me Now by Mark Holman, from Planes
We Both Know by Colbie Caillat, from Safe Haven
Get Used to Me by Diane Warren, from The Sapphires
Stay Alive by Jose Gonzalez, from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
So You Know What It's Like by Keith Stanfield, from Short Term 12
There's No Black Or White by Brian Carmody, from Somm
Cut Me Some Slack by Paul McCartney et al, from Sound City
You Can't Fix This by Stevie Nicks et al, from Sound City
Let It Go by Michael Franti, from Spark: A Burning Man Story
We Ride by Missy Higgins, from Spark: A Burning Man Story
Becomes the Color by Emily Wells, from Stoker
Younger Every Day by Stevie, from 3 Geezers!
Here It Comes by Emeli Sande, from Trance
Let the Bass Go by Snoop Dogg, from Turbo
The Snail Is Fast by V12 and Nomadik, from Turbo
Speedin' by Classic, from Turbo
My Lord Sunshine (Sunrise) by David Hughey, from 12 Years a Slave
Make It Love by the Hummons, from Two: The Story of Roman & Nyro
One Life by Tamela Mann, from The Ultimate Life
Unfinished Songs by Celine Dion and Diane Warren, from Unfinished Song
For the Time Being by Edie Brickell and the Gadabouts, from The Way, Way Back
Go Where the Love Is by Edie Brickell and the Gadabouts, from The Way, Way Back
Bleed for Love by Jennifer Hudson, from Winnie Mandela Reported by guardian.co.uk 2 days ago.
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New events for 2014: Christos Tsiolkas and Armistead Maupinw events for 2014

December 17, 2013, 3:36 am
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Christos Tsiolkas talks about his debut novel The Slap and Armistead Maupin joins John Mullan for a celebration of his much-loved Tales of the City series

*Christos Tsiolkas: The Slap*

Tuesday 21 January, 7pm
The Scott Room, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1
Tickets: £9.50
*Book tickets*

At a barbecue in Melbourne, a man hits someone else's unruly three year old son. The incident is so shocking that the party soon breaks up, and within a day the child's parents have the man arrested. The novel examines the incident through eight different perspectives to build a rich and complex picture of Australian suburban life.
The Slap made headlines for its controversial subject matter and for its huge popularity – it became an international bestseller, was longlisted for the Man Booker prize and won the Commonwealth prize in 2009. Tsiolkas's latest novel, Barracuda, is published this month.

*Armistead Maupin: Tales of the City*

Saturday 15 February, 6pm
The Tabernacle, 35 Powis Square, London W11 2AY
Tickets: £12
*Book tickets*

It is almost four decades since Armistead Maupin's much-loved Tales of the City saga began its life as a newspaper serial in the San Francisco Chronicle. In a rare visit to London, Maupin will talk to John Mullan about the very first novel in the series. San Francisco, 1976. Mary Ann Singleton, a naïve young secretary from Cleveland, Ohio, moves into an apartment on 28 Barbary Lane. Through her friendship with a rich cast of characters, including eccentric marijuana-growing landlady, Anna Madrigal and quiet young gay man Michael Tolliver (known as Mouse), Maupin's sparkling comedy chronicles Mary Ann's adventures in 70s San Francisco. Reported by guardian.co.uk 2 days ago.
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Festive lantern parade for North Prospect

December 17, 2013, 7:13 am
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This is Plymouth -- NORTH Prospect will be a shining light next week as it hosts a lantern parade, complete with three kings, an angel and dozens of stars. The parade will set off at 5.30pm on December 23 from the Halcyon Centre and wind its way through the new PL2 housing estate and the refurbished areas. The route was drawn up at the request of residents so the parade would bring together both old and new members of the community and Christmas carols will be sung along the way. The large star lanterns have been made by residents in weekly workshops to go with the four, six feet high kings and angel lanterns made last year. The workshops were funded by Plymouth City Council and GAS, a local history project. The procession will end at around 7.30pm at The Beacon, the new PCH Community building. There will be carols, Christmas arts and crafts, mulled wine, soup and rolls and mince pies to celebrate bringing the community together. Cabinet member for Co-operatives and Community Development Councillor Chris Penberthy said: "The lantern parade and festive event at the Beacon will be a lovely opportunity for the older and newer residents in North Prospect to come together just before Christmas and share some festive cheer." Reported by This is 2 days ago.
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Field and Stream 17th December 2013

December 18, 2013, 1:45 am
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Field and Stream 17th December 2013 This is Dorset -- Paul banks huge Avon chub Verwood river specialist Paul Allen has banked another huge chub from the River Avon. The aircraft engineer's latest catch was a new personal best in the shape of an 8lb specimen. Paul caught the big chub on ledgered cheese paste just after dark in sub-zero conditions. The exceptional fish beats Paul's previous personal best of 7lb 12oz from the Stour and his 7lb 10oz Avon best. Fishing Notes Several mid-week catches of over 100lb brought high hopes for the 36-peg DDAS Xmas Social Match at Revels. The prolific fishery didn't disappoint and Nic White weighed in an outstanding 119lb 10oz from Dead Tree Lake to win the match. Terry (Niblet) Green also drew on Dead Tree and finished second with 81lb 14oz. Third place went to Mick Brown's 52lb 3oz haul from Middle Lake and Andy Miller was fourth with 38lb 8oz from Main Lake. Steve Sudworth finished fifth with 37lb 14oz from Trendles Lake and Chris Watson banked 36lb 12oz from Main Lake for sixth place. If those big weights have whetted your appetite, there's an open match at Revels on Friday 27th December. Call 01300 345301 to book. Revels is open every day except Christmas Day during the festive and new year holidays. Deep water pegs fished best for Sturminster and Hinton AA's recent match on the River Stour at Steart last Sunday. Pegged in the 'bath swim', just below the second disabled platform, Ian Dunlop caught around 100 small roach for a winning weight of 9lb 13oz. Ian fished red pinkie on the pole in around 12 feet of water. Neil Sims was second with had 5lb 5oz from the last peg in the first field. The bulk of his catch consisted of small perch caught on worm. In the downstream section, pegged on the shallower length opposite the church, bites were much harder to come by but Simon Dennis won the section prize with a couple of small chub and some roach for a total of 3lb 8oz. Dean Walters was second in the section with a 1lb 14oz, which included a good perch of around 1lb. Neil Sims, Paul Newton and Simon Dennis had a pleasure session on the river above Stur Mill earlier on in the week and had a lot of roach plus several of the resident bream in nets of up to 30lb. The club's next match is the Christmas Hamper at Revels on Sunday 22nd December. Book with Neil on 07920 876638. The Gillingham AA Christmas Match was fished by 29 anglers on the River Stour at Deepwater, Highbridge and Stour Provost. Anglers caught well at the start although fishing tailed off as the rising river became coloured. Adie West (Gillingham AA) won the hamper with 6lb 14oz from peg 11 at Highbridge. He caught bits on stickfloat and maggot before adding a couple of bream on the feeder. Rob Manns (Sensas Wiltshire Angling) was second from the lucky dip swim at Stour Provost. He caught a bream on the feeder and some bits on the waggler to weigh in 6lb 3oz. Michael Hunt (Gillingham AA) was third with 5lb 3oz. Others: 4 Pat Smith (Gillingham AA) and John Moody (Garbolino BV) 4lb 1oz, 6 John Collings and Malc Walters (Gillingham AA) 4lb. The club's next match is the final Winter Championship on the river on January 6th. Book with Dave on (01747) 823159. The 48-peg Wiltshire Angling Christmas Match was fished on the River Avon at Melksham and Barton Farm. Stuart White (Premier Angling) won with 15lb 4oz from peg 1 at Melksham. PI Thatchers star, Liam Bradell, was second with 13lb 8oz from the dog swim at Barton Farm. Sean O'Neil (Wiltshire Angling) finsihed third with 12lb 2oz. Others: 4 Mike Withy (Sensas Wiltshire Angling) 11lb 12oz, 5 Rob Kepner (Devizes Match Group) 11lb 10oz, 6 Mark Woolbridge (Premier Angling) 11lb 9oz. Next week there's a pairs Christmas match with one angler on the River at Barton Farm and one angler on the Kennet and Avon Canal at Seend Park. Book with Paul Cooper on 01225 763835. Stalbridge Angling Society has its Christmas match this Sunday, 22nd December, on the River Stour at Kings Mill. Draw at 8am. Book with Trev on 07817 078276. Ross Everill and Kia Sanger bagged 33 carp for a total weight of 293lb 5oz to win the Wadmill Christmas Carpathon at Todber Manor. The winning pair drew peg 1 and fished small PVA bags of pellet with 10mm CC Moore Live System and Equinox tipped with CC Moore Mini Bitez coated in CC Moore Silent Assassin booster liquid. Aaron Card and Chris Tibble took second place with 30 carp for 278lb 2oz from peg 6. Chris Roberts and Jason Mills were third with 19 carp for 202lb 7oz from peg 8. Their best fish weighed in at 21lb 12oz. A total of 114 carp were caught, with all pairs managing to catch fish. Jamie Londors weighed in 82lb 9oz from peg 12 to win the latest match in the Big Hayes Carp Challenge qualifying series at Todber Manor. Ryan Knight took the second qualifying slot with a second place haul of 52lb from peg eight and Tom Koch was third with 46lb 10oz from peg 3. Todber Manor has its Christmas Match on Saturday 21st December. Draw at 9am and fish 10am to 3pm. Prizes for all, plus free coffee and mince pies. More info and booking on 01258 820384. And don't forget to cut out the voucher from last week's Blackmore Vale Magazine for free fishing this Christmas on any of the lakes at Todber Manor. Reported by This is 1 day ago.
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Killing Jesus: A History by Bill O'Reilly and Martin Dugard – review

December 18, 2013, 12:11 am
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Salacious gossip and gory details replace historical fact in this story of the Tea Party Christ

Everyone creates God in their own image, so it's not surprising that Fox television's aggressively conservative down-home-let's-hear-it-for-the-ordinary-guy talk show host should have created a Tea Party son of God. Jesus, the little guy, is an enemy of the big corrupt tax-oppressing Roman empire, which is itself just a version of Washington, only even more venal and sexually depraved. This Jesus is a tax-liberating rebel who incurs the wrath of the Jewish and Roman powers by threatening their joint fleecing of the people. As a member of the populist right, he is not, of course, in favour of redistribution: Bill O'Reilly's Jesus does not tell the rich to give away their money to the poor.

To give them their due, O'Reilly and his co-author Martin Dugard, who one presumes did most of the research, are right that the taxation imposed by the Romans was indeed a major cause of resentment and rebellion across the empire. But the Jews had a uniquely tense relationship with Rome – not because of taxation but because of their monotheistic religion.

The authors acknowledge that Jesus was not put to death by the Romans because of his economic protests (though they do make him overturn the moneylenders' tables at the temple not once but twice). But they underplay the real reason: Jesus's name had become fatally associated with that of the Messiah, the Christ, a longed-for figure who had become increasingly politicised: he would be not just the anointed king but the ruler who would liberate the Jews from the Romans before ushering in God's rule. As far as the Romans were concerned, Jesus, one of many would-be Messiahs at the time, was therefore a seditious rebel whose crime was punishable by death.

It's easy to be snooty about this kind of bodice-ripping treatment of history, where a preoccupied Herod sighs and looks anxiously out of the window, where Mary and Joseph "gasp in shock" to see their young son holding his own among the temple elders, the son whose "destiny must be fulfilled, even if his worried parents have no idea how horrific that destiny might be" (actually, as the authors themselves make clear, crucifixion was the usual fate of traitors and criminals across the Roman empire). I stopped counting the number of chapters ending with the cliffhanger "the child with [xx] years to live is being hunted/is missing … Jesus of Nazareth has one year to live"– or perhaps my favourite: "For now he is a free man." New line: "For now"– the two words left dangling ominously on the page.

As a revved-up journalese version of the gospels, plumped up with historical detail – which though not always accurate gives the reader a good sense of what life was like at the end of the first century BC; how soldiers were trained, how taxation worked, what the temple looked like and, of course, how soldiers crucified a man – Killing Jesus is fine. Indeed the authors used the same stylistic formula for their two previous books Killing Kennedy and Killing Lincoln. Both were bestsellers, and Killing Jesus is already number three on the New York Times bestsellers list. Why? Because they are fabulously easy to read: because there are good guys and bad guys, with very little in between; because there is lots of journalistically juicy, salacious gossip; and because, as with some historical fiction, you learn quite a bit about a particular era without having to think too much.

But historical detail does not in itself make a history – that requires analysis. Despite the subtitle, Killing Jesus is not "A History". It is a breathy retelling of the gospel stories by two conservative Catholics, one of whom, O'Reilly, believes that he was inspired to write the book by the Holy Ghost. It might be unfair to expect too much in the way of nuance or new material from Killing Jesus, but since it calls itself a history, one does expect accuracy. So when the authors claim that "the incredible story behind the lethal struggle between good and evil has never been told"– cue drumroll – "until now", the reader is entitled to feel a little misled.

Although the authors proclaim in their introduction that they have manfully succeeded in separating fact from legend and will alert the reader if the evidence is not set in stone, they signally fail to do so. Killing Jesus relies almost exclusively on the gospels, discounting two centuries of ongoing scholarly scepticism about their historical accuracy with a breezy footnote that there is "growing acceptance of their overall historicity".

Who are the goodies and baddies? The Romans are bad, corrupt and "unrelentingly cruel"– especially in their imposition of taxes, which in the eyes of our authors is a particularly nasty vice. The Jewish elite is bad, because it is hand in glove with the Romans in brutalising and fleecing the "good people of Galilee". Ordinary Jews are good. But the Pharisees are very bad. They are arrogant, self-righteous, self-interested and power-hungry.

O'Reilly and Dugard have swallowed hook, line and sinker the gospel writers' antipathy to the Pharisees. They seem unaware that in Jesus's time the Pharisees were in fact a newish, radicalising group, trying to wrest control of the Jewish religion from the stranglehold of the Sadducees, the aristocratic priestly caste who O'Reilly and Dugard unaccountably characterise as liberals. It was the Pharisees who stirred up revolt against Herod and Roman rule; thanks to the Pharisees, many Jews felt themselves forced to make a choice between being a good religious Jew or a good Roman citizen – a choice that ended for many in the Jewish revolt of 66-73/4 AD when the Romans destroyed Jerusalem and its temple.

Jesus's attempt to get round the problem of how to be a good Jew and a good Roman by saying "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's" was unhelpful. The problem for the Jews was precisely that they could not divide Caesar from God. Uniquely at the time they had a monotheistic god and monotheistic gods brook no rivals, such as a divine emperor. Uniquely also, their god demanded obedience to his law and that law covered the whole of life – from sex, eating and how you acted in business to loving your neighbour and worshipping the one and only god.

Herod tried but failed to be a loyal client king to Rome and a good religious Jew in the eyes of his people. And it was this tension between two identities that I believe propelled Paul, the Roman citizen and erstwhile fervent Pharisee, to refashion the small Jewish cult of Jesus into a religion open to Gentiles as well as Jews, where it would be possible to be "neither Jew nor Greek". Paul, however, is given no credit for the foundation and spread of Christianity: all the credit goes to Jesus, whose body, the authors tell us in their sonorous finale, "has never been found".

• Selina O'Grady's And Man Created God: Kings, Cults and Conquests at the Time of Jesus is out from Atlantic. Reported by guardian.co.uk 1 day ago.
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